I've got 4 kids and 1 goal this summer: do less
· Business Insider
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- Year after year, the summer exhausts me.
- With four kids, there are always so many activities to plan and complaints about boredom to bust.
- This year, I'm taking a step back and doing less. I hope we end the summer feeling rested.
I'm about to experience my 17th summer as a mom, and I think I've finally learned my lesson.
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Having four kids can be overwhelming and chaotic, especially given their different abilities, personalities, ages, and preferred extracurriculars. Despite the number of kids I have, I am determined to have a low-key summer with them.
I fully recognize the privilege I have. I teach college writing classes in fall and spring, with the perk of having summers off. My kids don't go to day care or camp, nor do they stay home alone while I'm working. Though this can give us some freedom, it also means that I am in charge of planning our kids' summer activities — all of them.
Being an always-on-the-go family simply doesn't allow our nervous systems to reset. We have had a very challenging past five or so years as a family. I fought breast cancer, three of my kids became teenagers, and we've faced multiple other health issues. We are tired, to say the least.
Despite my vowing that "less is more," summer after summer, I've found myself roped into a jam-packed calendar. After all, the newness of summer wears off during the first few weeks, and nothing can drive a parent more bonkers than a kid whining that they are "soooo bored." Striking a balance, especially with so many kids, can be overwhelmingly challenging, but I think I've nailed down a plan that may actually work.
The author, who teaches at college during the school year, said she is not packing her schedule with family activities this summer.Courtesy of Rachel Garlinghouse.
A low-key summer doesn't mean no activities
Our low-key summer, the one I have dreamed about for years, will be the reset we all need. I'm determined to make it so.
This doesn't mean there will be no activities or that we are never leaving the house. Three of my four kids have signed up for some type of activity: summer school classes and sports trainings. These are primarily during the day, and they aren't every day, so the commitment is low.
What will we do with the rest of our time? My goal is weekly library visits, a safe space for browsing and borrowing free items. We also plan to swim at home, daily, and sometimes have friends over to join us. My aim is to keep it all very casual and low-key, though. Bring your own towel, and you can grab snacks from the kitchen if you need one.
We are also fortunate to be the proud owners of four rescue dogs. They are fabulous companions, but definitely require our attention: brushing, feeding, and walking. We're still working on getting them to actually enjoy the pool versus dip in and run out. My kids will be focused on caring for them a bit more, now that they'll have some extra hours in their day.
I've created a space for creativity
I also scored a free, solid dining table off a social media page, and then later, four free dining chairs.
The setup makes the perfect Lego or game table for my kids and their friends. We can easily host casual gatherings. In fact, last fall, I had a group of my girlfriends over for a Perler bead party, complete with snacks. It was fantastic fun, inexpensive, and memorable. I have loads of beads left, ready for my kids to enjoy with their friends if the mood strikes.
Chores will also take up some time
Lastly, and as always, my kids have daily chores. I'm a big believer in the benefits: teamwork, building life skills, and respecting our home by taking good care of it. Yes, my children complain about chores, as all children usually do. However, I have found that the benefits far outweigh the grunts and sighs. Over the summer, they'll have extra time to help with laundry and dish duty, and I plan to take full advantage of that.
Structured activities will be replaced with simpler joys
As someone who grew up living in the country, back in the day when there were no cell phones or laptops, our only option was to turn our boredom into an opportunity to play, create, and read. I want this for my kids. Too many structured activities deprive them of the freedom to be bored. Additionally, traveling to and from those places, buying all the gear, and paying activity fees is incredibly expensive.
The author said she wants her four children to lean into the simple joys of summer this year.Courtesy of Rachel Garlinghouse.
I am thinking about our recent spring break. On the first day, we spent an hour at the YMCA, each kid working out in whatever way made them happy. Then we headed to the library and loaded up books and other items. We came home, watched a movie while it poured outside. The kids ate a frozen meal for lunch, ones they had pre-chosen as their favorites. It ended up being the perfect day and it was easy.
TBD if my low-key summer plan will be a success. However, I am hopeful that my intentionality will create opportunities for relaxation, creativity, joy, and beautiful memories.
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